When the Girls Are Always Yelling
blog 4 of
This Might Be Dense:
and other stories about your girls
Welcome to This Might Be Dense: and other stories about your girls.
This blog series pulls the curtain back on a part of the body that’s been so sexualized, it’s still censored: on social media, in schools, and even in medical conversations. And yet, over half a million women die each year from breast cancer.
Censoring information about women’s bodies doesn’t protect us: it endangers us.
So, this series is both personal and practical.
It’s a love letter. A rage howl. A guidebook.
It’s a reminder that ya girls were never meant to be a mystery, especially to you.
Some women have a relationship with their breasts that’s all about pleasure or pride. Miiiiiiiiine has mostly been uncomfortable.
I, and many other women, have fibrocystic breasts. If you’ve never heard the term, it means they’re dense, lumpy, hormonally sensitive, and almost always tender.
It used to be considered a disease, but now it’s not. It’s the Pluto of breast conditions: there, not dangerous, kind of ignored.
During my biopsy, I (very carefully, as it was MRI guided) rolled my eyes because when they said it might feel uncomfortable, it was more comfortable than so much sensation in my breasts that I have grown to known as normal (Pluto, if you will).
And here’s the thing: if your breasts hurt constantly, it changes your relationship to sexuality. To embodiment. To breastfeeding. To your whole damn body. Apparently, a tube being threaded through your breast tissue can be a walk in the park compared to a Tuesday
What Are Fibrocystic Breasts?
Fibrocystic breasts are breasts with more glandular and fibrous tissue than fatty tissue.
They often swell, lump up, and ache before your period.
They might feel ropey or dense or tender to the touch.
They might leak, inflame, or react strongly to hormones.
More than 50% of women have fibrocystic breast changes at some point, but you’d never know — in part because we don’t talk about it and in part because we’re not taught about it.
The Hidden Toll of Chronic Breast Pain
Let’s be honest: it’s hard to feel empowered in your body when your boobs feel like they’re full of gravel or electric shocks.
It’s hard to enjoy sex.
It’s hard to wear anything without thinking about nipple sensitivity.
It’s hard to trust your body when it’s screaming every time you hug someone too tight.
And then, if you do breastfeed? You find out that pain doesn’t go away.
What Helps? (A Not-Totally-Exhaustive List)
If your breasts are always yelling, here are some ways to listen, and maybe help them calm down.
Support Your Hormones
Experiment with reducing caffeine and alcohol (sorry, I know)
Add magnesium, B6, and healthy fats to support progesterone
Try DIM or flaxseed to support estrogen detox
Soothe the Tissue
Warm compresses before your period
Cold packs after activity or nursing
Castor oil packs across the chest (especially at night)
Talk with your qualified healthcare provider about evening primrose oil or Vitex
Move the Lymph
Gentle breast massage (especially before your cycle)
Dry brushing or light fascia sweeps
Rebounding (mini trampoline = lymph magic)
Hydration and deep breathing
Talk to the Right Practitioners
Bodyworkers, acupuncturists, lymphatic drainage therapists: people who know how to touch with wisdom and are practiced in embodiment, because not only do you deserve more than “it’s probably fine,” you also deserve to learn the language of your body.
It’s Not Just About Pain: It’s About Relationship
When you’ve lived with breast pain since you’ve had them, your body becomes something to manage rather than inhabit… but that doesn’t have to be the end of the story.
Your girls might be yelling, but they’re not mad at you! They might just need to be heard. Held. Softened.
This is not to shut them up, but to build a safe space to make them yours again.
If this post helped you feel more informed, keep going. This Might Be Dense: And Other Stories About Your Girls is a full series: part practical guide, part personal reclamation, all grounded in research, rage, and reverence.
🧬 Understand breast tissue types
🍼 Explore milk, hormones & density
🔥 Learn how to manage pain & fibrocystic changes (current post)
📊 Decode your BI-RADS score and risk
🩻 Know your imaging options & how to advocate
💬 Say the quiet parts out loud
🌍 Understand environmental exposures & plastic’s impact
👐 Get the breast ritual PDF to care for your girls
YOU DESERVE TO KNOW YOUR BODY BEFORE ANYONE ELSE DEFINES IT FOR YOU.
